How Am I Gonna Be An Octopus About This

Unfortunately I'm wearing pantaloons and flying through the middle of goddamn nowhere.


she/her pronouns uwu
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howidiotic:

this is my favourite vine ever

unpresentable:

doughnuthunter:

unpresentable:

I’m good at math. U + I = 69

Wait that would mean that I = 59 because U sure are a 10

oh

Posted 2 hours ago With 6,324 notes

vvorldwideweb:

foodtrucker:

*concert voice* so how is everyone doing tonight!!

*from the back of the room* ok how are u

Posted 4 hours ago With 299,462 notes

the thing that really hits me about getting older isn’t my age but the fact that i can remember things from like 15 years ago

Posted 5 hours ago With 0 notes

monobeartheater:

kellanium-the-dieselhead:

If you’re ever worried that you fucked up real bad, just remember that there are over 2,500 reported cases of vacuum cleaner-induced genital trauma in the United States each year. 

their thought process never got past the word “suck”

Posted 6 hours ago With 29,273 notes

bamfneblake:

Dracula asks the important questions.

happydoge:

He’s here

majortvjunkie:

majortvjunkie:

Date night with my two favorite guys

BEN AND JERRY

image

hahahaha

ha

haha

image

I’m so fucking alone

image

Posted 7 hours ago With 167,922 notes

  • baby: th... th... th...
  • mom: three???
  • baby: thanks pete

Posted 7 hours ago With 165 notes

Tagged: #thanks pete

sexhaver:

westindians:

R.I.P. the actual meaning of the word “aesthetics” 

the way this website uses “aesthetics” is 100% in line with the dictionary definition, what’s the weather like up there on your high horse

Posted 8 hours ago With 22,376 notes

thedisassociation:

greatest weakness:

  • any group of flawed but lovable misfits who make a family with each other

Posted 8 hours ago With 58,027 notes

that1nathankid:

Friendly reminder that no one really has their life figured out and that everyone is pretending just as much as you are.

Posted 8 hours ago With 15 notes

hella-lujah:

i love being the radical degenerate queer of the family.

Posted 8 hours ago With 33,270 notes