Half a Pretzel

I'm not a wizard, I'm just a google user.
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  • when my followers message me: I'm sorry if this is creepy and we haven't talked before, but I think you're awesome! god this is weird I'm sorry.
  • when I message them back: SCREAMS AND CRIES INTO YOUR SHIRT GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE YOU FIND $20 ON THE GROUND

Posted 38 minutes ago With 115,484 notes

Tagged: #me

miaman:

well that’s just about the cutest thing ive ever heard get said

theweepyfox:

geometricdeathtrap:

So I needed a way to alert the class that I was going to be showing graphic pictures of genitals on my presentation so I decided that putting this on the slide before would work

image

I want this on a shirt.

Posted 1 hour ago With 14,897 notes

bigasseyesfullawonder:

things my grandchildren are going to hear me say

  • yo
  • lil nigga
  • chicken nugger
  • swiggity swag what’s in the bag
  • bitch i might be
  • holla holla get dolla
  • swaggy
  • bip bop bam i don’t give a damn
  • ding dong that is wrong

things i never wanted my grandchildren to hear me say

  • yo
  • lil nigga
  • chicken nugger
  • swiggity swag what’s in the bag
  • bitch i might be
  • holla holla get dolla
  • swaggy
  • bip bop bam i don’t give a damn
  • ding dong that is wrong

Posted 1 hour ago With 4,582 notes

Tagged: #me

hec-ticglow:

love how bus drivers give each other that little wave or nod when their buses pass like they’re in a secret bus driver club who are actually on a way more important mission than what seems, they’re actually out preventing public mayhem and evil villains on fake nuclear buses.

Posted 1 hour ago With 43,636 notes

its-just-a-matter-of-time:

you know you’re a 30 rock fan when you or someone else does something stupid and you feel the need to say “smooth move ferguson”

Posted 2 hours ago With 33 notes

Tagged: #30 rock

Tagged: #same

iammorethanmemory:

Graceland promo - May 24, 2013

“It’s all lies”

(x)

Tagged: #graceland